Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right
by alostprophet
Summary: Despite all the wrong decisions, Derek keeps trying to make things right


**Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right**

Life has proven that Derek has serious problems when it involves making decisions and maybe because of his previous mistakes he can't help but think this one is wrong too. But he thought about it a lot and for every reason to stay he has a thousand that makes him want to leave.

He tried to build his pack so maybe he could convince himself to stay, but when everything went to hell – because it's his life, things always go to hell – he realized it was just another bad decision. Scott was growing to be a better alpha than him, he is going to take care of the things in a way Derek never could.

He can hear Laura's voice telling him to stop running, that it's a stupid decision. He can see her eyes rolling and feel her hand smacking the back of his neck. But his life is a combination of stupid and bad decisions, one more for the count is not going to kill him. Or maybe it will, but no one cares anymore.

"Isaac told Scott you are leaving." Stiles says from his place near the door while he watches Derek puts his clothes – everything he has – in a bag. "I thought he was joking."

"It's not a joke." It's the only answer he can give because Stiles is the last person he wants to talk right now. The only person he can't say goodbye.

"I can see that dude." He shrugs. "I just want to know why. The alpha pack is gone, there's no hunters or threats. Life is almost normal. As normal as it can be anyway." Stiles takes a step into the bedroom. Derek's bedroom before the fire, the bedroom he slept with Kate Argent.

"Because."

"Because?" He smells the change in the boy's scent, from the normal scent of Stiles - that makes Derek wants to hide his face in the crook of his neck just to smell it better – to the strong smell of anger and frustration. "Because? That's it? After everything, you are going to leave like this? Because you want to?".

"That's not of your business."

"Oh fuck you! It's everyone's business!" He steps even closer and Derek wishes he could just drop it and go, but he knows Stiles, he can't stop making questions even if his life depends on it. "You are their alpha! But still you are here packing and ready to leave! Ready to run! Ready to drop everything on Scott's shoulders! I never counted you as a coward Derek, stupid yes, but not a coward." He could've ignored everything Stiles said, but he couldn't ignore being called coward. It's not even a racional thought. One minute he's foding one of his pants and the next he has his hand on Stiles' throat and he can feel his eyes turning red.

"Don't fucking talk about something you don't know!"

"I don't know because you won't tell me!" Stiles answers back, not even a little scared of Derek's reaction, the scent of anger still radiating from his body, stronger now that Derek can smell it closer, but there's no trace of fear. The stupid kid is not scared of him in any way, God, Derek loves him so much. "Why can't you tell us? Why can't you try to let us fix it?"

"There is nothing to be fixed!" He lets Stiles go and turns his back to him, picking the pants he dropped from the floor and putting it in the bag. "You don't need me and I don't want to stay here."

"Bullshit!" He screamed and Derek allowed himself to just close his eyes and breathe, trying to memorize Stiles' scent before turning to face the boy again.

"Think anything you want Stiles. I don't care. Just fucking leave me alone okay?" He wishes Stiles just could fucking stop making this decision even harder. He lifted his eyebrow when Stiles remained still, just looking at him with the same angry expression except for the closed fists like he was ready to attack. "Leave." He repeated, trying to make Stiles understand that the conversation was over and he turned to finish packing his clothes. Moving faster than Derek could have predicted Stiles took the bag away and threw it to the other side of the room. "What the fuck you think you are doing?" He growled, angry and frustrated. Closing his fists to restrain himself, trying not to lose control. "Stiles!" When the boy didn't answer again he growled. "I don't care what kind of game you are trying to play. I'm going to take that bag and you are going home, or I'm going to make. You. Go." He punctuated every word to emphasize, but Stiles didn't seem to be affected by the threat.

"I'm not leaving and neither are you!" There was always something about Stiles that made Derek lose control, doesn't matter how much he loves the kid, Stiles always knows what to do to make Derek angry. And this time Derek was so close to hurting him that he was trully scared of himself, but Stiles couldn't **stop infuriating him. **"I want to know what the fuck is your problem! Why can't you act like an adult? Take responsibilities for your acts! If you want to leave just fucking tell us why you are doing it! Admit to yourself that you running because you are scared and don't go telling lies to everyone!"

"I don't owe explanations to anyone!" He walked closer trying to make Stiles surrender by intimidation.

"They are your pack!"

"They don't want to be! You don't want me around so I'm just making you all a favor!" They were facing each other now, both the same height, ready for the fight. Derek's eyes glowing red while Stiles fists closed. Anger so touchable that Derek feels like he could cut it with a knife.

"Don't want you around my ass!" With a last shout Stiles closed the gap between them. Without hesitation Derek returned the kiss, opening his mouth when he felt the tip of Stiles tongue touching his bottom lip. The kiss was bruising and hot, he sucked Stiles tongue into his mouth, bit his lips and ran his hands under Stiles' shirt holding him with such a force that he was probably going to leave marks. If this was his only oportunity to kiss Stiles, he was not going to let it go to waste. He felt Stiles' hands through his back going lower and lower, passing the waistband of Derek's jeans and stopping on his ass, where he used it to drag Derek closer. Feeling Stiles erection against his own, Derek moaned and moved to kiss Stiles' neck, smelling the strong scent of arousal and Stiles and '_God, he's going to kill me'_. When he heard Stiles moaning his name he moved to kiss Stiles' lips again, muffling the sounds with his mouth. It was like his body created a life of its own, when he felt Stiles unzipping his jeans he couldn't hold his own moan. Derek couldn't think, his brain wasn't processing anything other than Stiles' scent, Stiles' body, Stiles' lips, Stiles' everything.

Desperate to feel more of the other boy's body against his own, Derek took Stiles' shirt off while biting and sucking the skin of Stiles' neck. He took his own shirt off as fast as he could and grunted when he finally could feel his chest against Stiles'.

"Derek please..." He never heard something as beautiful as Stiles' moans, never saw something as perfect as Stiles' parted lips and naked chest. "Please, Derek... look at me..." It took all of Derek's self control to stop sucking a new bruise right behind Stiles' ear and look at the other boy's eyes, and what he saw hit him like that baseball bat Laura 'accidentally' struck his head with when he was seven. Stiles' eyes were shining from the tears he obviously was trying to hold, Derek immediately tried to step back but Stiles hold stopped him. "No, no please. Don't go." He caressed Derek's face with his right hand while the left was still holding him firmly by the hips. Derek could release himself if he wanted, but he realized he didn't want to. "Don't leave. Stay here, stay with me. I want you to, please."

"Stiles..." Derek didn't even know what he was going to say, but he had to make Stiles stop talking, stop hurting, but Stiles was faster and shut him with a quick kiss.

"No please. You want me to beg? Please, I'm begging you Derek, don't go." A single tear dropped from his eyes and Derek started to panic, feeling like shit for making him cry. "But if you really have to go, please let me go with you. Let me be by your side." And that, that broke him. That Stiles was willing to leave everything behind for him. "Derek, you..."

"I love you." Stiles caresses on his cheek stopped abruptly, but soon enough the most perfect smile Derek ever saw illuminated his face and Stiles kissed him again.

"This means you're not leaving right? You can't be leaving after this. You're staying right?"

"I..."

"No, no. I don't care, you told me you love me. You are not getting rid of me. I'm going to follow you from now on, because I love you too." And Derek knows it was obvious Stiles loved him too, but hear him saying those words, it was almost like Derek was whole again.

"You do?" And god, that sounded desperate.

"I do, I do! I love you so much." Stiles repeated laughing and before Derek could help himself he was dragging Stiles into a tight hug. "Stay." He said, voice barely a whisper.

"Yes."

"Yeah?" Stiles pulled back just enough to look Derek in the eye.

"Yeah." Both smiled. "But I have to keep you."

"I'm yours." Stiles smiled reassuring. "If you are mine too."

"I'll always be yours." And Derek kissed him again, thinking that this, right here was for sure the best decision of his life.

* * *

**A/N: **My first Sterek story. I'm so happy that I managed to write it, the idea came when I was thinking about Derek staying in Beacon Hills and what could happen if he wanted to leave, I hope he doesn't though, Colton leaving was enough for a lifetime. The title comes from the song Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men. Sorry for the mistakes but I hope you like it anyway, tell me what you think!


End file.
